APPREHENSIONS!

You will not understand me anymore;
I just can't show your image
Embedded in my soul, by opening
The window of my cloistered heart.
I cannot sleep now when I ponder
How you could decipher the real
Lines in between my silences?

I am hiding among the branches of
A blooming tree, as the wind,
In the courtyard of your mansion;
I am also the vestige that embraces you.

I remember those words you uttered
Once, that you can't find me with your
Naked eyes, as though I am an apparition.
I may be a distant vision for your eyes now.
Still if you can keep your ears close to
My heart you could listen, my heart throbs
Very distinctly, pulsating with your name.

By the end of the winter, as your love starts
Pouring down as the rain, I will transform
To become the sodden earth, glistening
With your enrapturing moonlight.

Beckoning

Come out to the world, you won’t regret.
It is not dark here and I will make you a different girl.
In there you have to face rebuffs and scorns;
And it reflects now in your nature.
To love and leave is not your hobby.
Like the tensed strings of a violin
You spend your days and nights
You have no recreations
A touch so light will quiver it and,
Discords erupt in hard feelings.
With that you break the hearts of
Those, who love you and cherish you,
Make me the happiest one in life
Sure, you can do that with strain.

I was in rapture
When you said ‘no rupture between you and me’.
So lovely this morn, when I saw you sail past
Clad in that blue Sari with red lines.
Again I heard your pleasantry;
I know the concern in your breath,
Full of love you’re the one I love.

Can’t you break the clam
Which holds you away from me?
I can’t enter it; sealed and marooned
My soul flutters around it,
Awaiting and awaiting to glide
Away to the blue sky and ride
Among the silvery clouds,
And together we make our haven;
Though others may even scorn us.
Hurry up before the dream vanishes,
Before this moth scorches its wings.

Said you helped me to come out of my loneliness
Yet, when you left me, you pushed me into an abyss.
Said you’ll call me later, but you never did,
And I waited till dawn, and then you never knew.

PROGNOSIS...

Do not love me at all expecting that I am a flower.
Do not touch me as though I am a dew drop;
I will fade away with the warmth at your finger tips.
Do not tread on me, believing that your insteps will
Find it comfortable to walk on me.
Do not try to climb down into the depth
Of my fathomless heart,
Assuming I am only knee deep.
Do not try to delight me with a kiss
On my disillusioned lips, believing
It is enormously charming and sweet.

I am just a woman, with all the vileness
Of this world, and none of these.
I am no angel…

In the moon light...

Have you forgotten that night?
When we first met, in the moonlight?
We exchanged our glances artfully.
My beloved, my memories are all
Crowded with the enlightened streams
Of your enchanting smiles.
You are the tiny waves which gives bliss
To the withering memories of my forlorn life.
My pleasures pure, have become mute pangs
Now, smothering my morbid soul.
The fragrance emanating in my life,
Out of your reminiscence is now
An elixir, for my existence.
The eternal radiance of your smile
Enliven my spirits and soften my pangs….

Reveille…

Your sweet simper touched and awakened
My dulcified reminiscences, my darling!
Still you did not venture to imbibe the
Fragrance it had, together with me.
I am coming in an opulent palanquin,
Embellished with the flowers of my reveries.
I have been grazing among the
Towering elegance of my previous births.
We sang in much carousal;
We danced mirthfully and boisterously.
We made our nights to become days.
I visualize vistas of these by-gone moments now.

To day my nightingales will knock on the doors
Of your inner self, now bolted by oblivion,
By a song of reveille, always in their lips.

LIFE- A PARADOX...

When life looped together with the strength
Of a ‘*yellow thread’, and its ends tied
At an auspicious moment in their life time,
It becomes a ritual and a parallel co-existence;
Unable to meet at any point in the long journey
To the grave yard, where all passions and desires,
Find their pyre and vanish into thin air.

Drowsy, lethargic chores of every day,
When life tangles in the age old rituals,
And deteriorating customs often make
Hapless moments, battling with reasons.
They make the life miserable and turn it
To distorted somnambulism; but a conscious
Dream walking, with all its paraphernalia.



*YELLOW THREAD BY WHICH THE MANGALYA SUTRA[TALISMAN OF MARRIAGE] IS TIED

REMEMBRANCE

Keep in your memory, keep
Each moonlit night we had together.
Remember how the breeze was fondling
Each leaves and flowers around us;
Like my love caressing you, each
Cell of your body, and soul.

Keep the memory of the rain that
Showered nectar in our minds,
And the night, when the moon
Peeped to see our amorous
Caresses, from behind the clouds,
The stars closing their timid eyes
In coy meekness, with a tremor,
And the mist covered us with its
Fragrant veil of a damask muslin.
The Night Queen opened its petals
To view the lovers lying entangled
In a fury, of ardent passions.





Keep that memory when our souls
Talked in mute pleasant silence;
When your thirsty lips were chasing mine,
Our cheeks rubbing in unison.
My hands holding you tight in my grasp,
When tears of delight welled up in your eyes.

Keep remembering all these, always;
And remember a petite soul will be
Here, waiting for you to come back
Till the end of time, all alone.

In a tiny dream...

On the wings of an alluring tiny dream
If I could fly to your presence now!
I could have a glimpse of you
to my heart's content;
I could hear your mellifluous voice;
I could share your grief and soothe you;
I could be with you, leaning on my bosom...

I wanted to cry, holding you close,
I wanted to embolden your sore heart,
With the fluff of my kisses and
The balm of my timeless love.
From the day you left me,
With tears flowing down my cheeks,
I have been carrying my coffin,
Wandering through the wilderness
Of my desolate despondency.

Won’t you come back, to me
My magnificent angel,and hover
Among the clouds of my rueful heart?
Your silver streaks may transform
Me into a dazzling spectrum....

MY MOTHER OF PEARL

The tender mood brims over the mind
Of the silent love between us;
Though unremembered,
Though withered, it is again blooming
On the golden shores of
Love, in the morning glory...

Unknowingly I kept my love for her
In the fathoms of my eyelids.-
She came softly with silent strides
Gasping in her breath,
Purring and grazing against my cheeks.
She kissed on my half closed eyelids
With moist lips, ardent with her love.
She learned to hum my unseen poetry
Unknowingly when I was aloof.
She used to hold this shivering violin
Hard pressed on her bosom.
I know not, how much, and why I loved this
Mother of Pearl! throughout my existence.

IN THE NIGHT WHEN...

It appears, someone has opened the windows
Or the silver shines of the full moon.
Or could it be the luster on your face as
The moon, beaming with love.
Or the plumes of mist falling softly, and
Silently on the petals of the camellia?
Or the coquetry of the startled rain
Or the strain, of the humming wind’s passion?
Or the rustling, of the silver anklet, on your feet?
Or, it could even be the sparkling laugh, of the
Jasmine, unfurling its petals timidly..
Some one had gently opened these windows!

I will enter the lap of the sky, transformed into
A silver cloud, as you become, a rain dream of your love.
And shower, drenching me in that frenzy of passions
Then we will perfuse and become one in us.
Like the blueness adorned by the raging sea.
Me and you, and the sodden clouds have,
Only one ecstasy; to enter into and enfold into one!

If I wander, as a melody with the wings of
Desires, seeking you,
Could you find me out, and your tenderness
Keep me imprisoned, by the padlock of your love;
Skimming in the fuddle of the tremulous music,
Emanating through the awakened ardour
Of the heart strings, I am waiting
At the door steps, of your hankering now!

MY HEART THROB...

An insatiable urge persists in the mind,
To touch you with my caressing fingers;
An unquenchable thirst in my soul
To whisper to you, my dreams.
What else do you need my love
To thaw this frozen cloud of your silence?

In the twilight I waited, as a shadow
On the side of the path you used to walk,
Ever after you threw a line, with your glance,
Immersed in your love that day; and
I am melting down to a void….

Nights have turned to butterflies,
Days became barren like birds in the air,
When you did not turn up.
My dreams also have gone asleep.
What else you need from me, my love
To thaw this frozen cloud of silence?

When I woke up from my short slumber,
I feel your soft fingers stroking me.

When the soft breeze touches my cheeks
I feel your loving kisses there.
My beloved, memoirs of you are so divine;
Even the love scented rustling of
Your whispers are so exquisite…..

What magical smile you directed to me
And vanished languishing!
An insatiable urge in the soul to
See you again; and an unquenchable thirst
To speak softly into your ears.
Why can’t you enter from the lap of
That golden dawn and show you
To awaken me from this languor existence?

YOU SHOULD KNOW....

Words pure and love filled,
I have to confess to you;
The truth in my heart, you never knew,
As you stand apart with spite in your thoughts;
Even when chanting your name in my soul;
Day and nightI kept my unsung love,
A secret, in the labyrinth of my heart.
Inside me an ocean swelled to fondle you,
And your soul yearned for that caress endlessly.
You heard the eternal music, resonant of love.

I know not what to call that sweet agony it creates,
Of the rapturous relation ..Love!
Or is it the divine mercy
Designed to paddle through life, without
Drowning in its depth?

Turned a tear welling cloud,
Me an equation of destiny;
And you, a seed promising a forest in you;
Like the earth craving for the rain....

INFATUATIONS OF A BIRTH !

You have taken my birth
And me yours...so the Providence decreed…

Infatuations filled our birth
with magnificent obsessions
And we imbibed the nectar of our love.
You were my daughter and my son.
My hands became a cradle for you
And I sang a lullaby in your slumber.

I will adorn your lips, and brows
And your cheeks and nape with
Very warm kisses, engrossed in my love.
I will watch your pranks and naughty smiles.
You, my beloved, sleep close to my bosom.

In this chamber, and along the walkway,
I will hold your soft fingers in my hand,
And follow you like a shadow;
Shower you with kisses all along.

Like the dewdrop lingering on a rose petal
I see you snuggling at my side.
My spirit is enthralled by this sleeping angel.
Do not disturb her in her siesta
Lest, my dreams vanish in the void….

Melodies of the heart…

The dewdrops swooned and slumbered
In the frenzy of kisses from the moonlight,
Now the moon slept along with the myriads of stars.
The night adorned with the sandal paste, also dozed.
The earth and the heaven looked into each other’s eyes.
The Night Queen unfolded its petals in full.
And then the butterflies of dreams woke up.

We had moulted the attire of sleep, many a times
From our lonely nights, when you were near;
Like the evergreen dreams, and you poured
Your enamoured affection all over me.
My wildest of imaginations, unknown, melted
In your ocean blue eyes, made it dazzle and
Embellish your lonely morning hours.
Your love is always my alluring melodies in life.

A cadence…

My beloved! The words uttered
By your lips are really sweet
And your love is much sweeter than that.
The cool wind is embracing me
Like your shadows that follow me.
Are you the shower of a rain that fills
The soul that chills the chillness of bliss?

It is midnight now and the nature
Has fallen into a stupor.
The moon has lowered its wick
Of its beaming light.
Let me delve into the depths of
Your loveliness and dissolve into it,
As a rhythm; as a cadence…

Creations…

Here the breeze carries a divine fragrance.
The spring has come this way already,
In a chariot of tender sprouts and leaves
And the maidens in-waiting were those
Of dainty dreams and sublime memories.

Why the flowery season could not linger here,
And halt the chariot here for a while?
It could not give me even a tiny blossom
As a gift, to recollect its radiance again.
And now you have become another
Blooming season, like spring in my life.

The ocean is roaring with its waves.
Who sowed the stones of beryl in its froth?
May be, the heavenly musicians have done that.
Never throw your pearls of laughter in the
Stream of tears, of your lonely nights.
Those musicians also got away, after
Closing the eyes of the mind.
Now, you have become an exquisite beryl
In my mind, dazzling in your love.

Those bluish eyes are the blossoms of the heart,
And I have become the apple of those eyes.
How charming is the splendour of youth!
And your emotions are a hundred times
Prettier than any petite things on this earth.
The creator ought to have given eyes of the soul,
To the smiling lilac, and the winged pangs of the mind.
But then, you have become the creator of love in me…

To the stars with love…

I asked the stars and the planets in the firmament;
The Pleiades, Orion, Betelgeuse, Arcturus, Jupiter’
And the countless galaxies, in the universe.
I asked them your name, which I did not know.
None of them knew your name!
But they together asked me one question.
“Do you love her so much?”

I told them that she is someone precious
To me, more than the value of all the diamonds
In this universe, that could be mined.
That I cannot be replete, with all the love
That I could muster through the innumerable
Days and nights, equaling your numbers.
I will not be gratified with the quantum of
Moments equal to the number of sand
Particles, this earth is having.
I can wait for her, through ages
Equivalent to the distance, from here to your place.

If she ever imbibes a drop of the nectar
Brewed with my love, and its passion,
That I am keeping for her, as pure as a drop of dew,
It will expand and swell into an ocean inside her.
That will never dry up, but enliven
Her through births and rebirths through eons.

Reveries!

Reveries, memories, recollections,
Reminiscences, of the bygone days;
Shivering, cracking, and shattering
On the shores, of the solitary mind.
Impossible and infeasible is the attempt,
To forget a face, once seen and clasped
With the tender fingers in affection.
It keeps on appearing on the screen,
Projected in high resolution and sharp.

Misery is a lonely wanderer, and I am
Invited with the blaring of its trumpet.
Golden dreams took leave of me and left,
Yielding place to turbulent despondency.
Passions aspiring to disseminate,
Are like evergreen climbers,
Endeavoring to reach heaven,
Gradually through seasons, and
Dry up wilted in the summer heat!

Bleeding rose...

You standing at the grave of dreams,
In the gloom of the moon light!
Do you reckon the sea of your grief
Will calm down, by shedding a drop of tear?
Even when your inset was bleeding
You were dancing and singing, repressing
Your pain, like the nightingale who sang
While its wings were on fire.

You concealed your woeful sighs
Under the heavenly, enchanting melodies,
And camouflaged your tears in the veil
Of angelic smiles, adorning your lips.
The spectators who relished in the
Delightful performance, you showed,
Were never aware of the anguish
Inundating your doleful heart;
And they could not wipe your tears
With their clapping hands, applauding you.

The image adored and embraced by the heart
Has faded and lost its lustre by
Gnawing prejudices and disinformation…
Obliterating, the sunshine with black clouds
Of despair and obscurity of frustration.

Abandoned?.. Never!

Can you fly down to me, with a message of love,
My dear flamingo, in the chillness of the rain clouds,
From the resplendent rainbow fondling the sky?

Tell me, you growling hungry Ocean, an answer.
Where is the bard, I love like my life?
My dearest maid, did you see, the anguish
I wrote, artfully as the calligraphy of my heart,
In disquiet, with welling tears in your eyes?
Did you stop to hearken the cadence of a song,
From my soul, sung in distress?

Tell me; did you see him jotting down a scrap
To say he is coming soon to see me?
The horizon of my love, and the life I lead
Has imprisoned me in a castle, I detest.
Yet, I covet to become a rain cloud and
Shower all my love, draining it on him,
From the heaven, soaring over him beady- eyed;
To sprout as a hundred thousand petals of love,
In his despondent existence in this earth;