DELUSIONS [OF A KIND] II

If my love or affection for her is just a feeling

Alone, then it is only narcissism .

Love is an attempt to possess her.

Can anyone own another body?

If it is consumed and added to the body

There is nothing left as remnant.

Is it possible to embrace a soul,

Or be in possession of it as one’s own?


Soul or individual is merely a feeling,

And embracing it, is only an imagination.

Your soul and my soul remain always

Separated and not at all in union.


Closing in and embracing of these two souls

Are manifestations, in the realm of feelings;

A magical delusion, illusion or hallucination!

When I invoke you as my own and embrace you,

I am only snuggling your flesh but not the beautiful you.

You are just a delusion, as well as your beauty.

What is in a myth? Apart from the mass of flesh

As a body, it is meaninglessness.

You are a dream that mystify me.

When you become mine, you are no more;

And then when I embrace you,

In reality I am cuddling myself.

The feeling of ‘self’ itself becomes a myth.

However, if I lose that delusion, then everything

Becomes blank in the screen of feelings

And is in darkness, as in a power cut.


She and I are thus the creation of such

A magical consciousness. [a MAYA of nature]

Life is such an experience and the truth of my life

Is the totality of such delusions and hallucinations.

Every pleasure, every meaningful episode, and

Each values of life itself are the consequence

Of such a feeling in disguise, or imagination.

And without them, there is no life …

DELUSIONS [I]

[I]


I am not an atheist or an agnostic, but

I believe in a Supreme Power,

A destiny, that shapes our ends.

Faith is often described as a delusion.

Did I ever see any one of the gods?

Or heard Him?

[Why do we mention ‘HIM’? - As though

He is masculine in nature?]

I have no experience in any of these.

Then why should I have faith

In a non -entity to my sense?

Nevertheless, I have many a times

Held His image, idol, paintings,

And have touched them,

In a church, a temple or wayside.

In the church they give the sacramental bread

To believers as a blessed gift, from God.

It represents God and believing it as God

Transubstantiated, they accept it.

It is no more a piece of bread.

It is something more than, different than

That bread we eat daily, for our hunger.

Faith changed the substance!


When I kissed my deceased father

Before he was laid to rest,

I kissed his lifeless body, but felt it

As a Godsend ecstasy and rapture;

And I kissed my wailing old mother,

It was the body of an age old woman.

When I clinch and kiss my beloved

I am not merely fondling the body of a woman;

It is something more than that.

And that ‘something’ is the delusion,

Illusion, or hallucination or myth.


When someone touches the feet of an idol

Or kiss the feet of a granite sculpture -that of a God,

In the form of a deity, it is not the granite or the marble

They touch, or genuflect before it; but God himself.

When you touch, hug and kiss your beloved

Are you touching a mass of bone and flesh that could

Be bought at a meat stall or butchery?

And the bliss it brings forth to the heart

And the exquisite contentment accrued…

Is not that too, a myth?

WHO IS BLIND?

Who is blind now?

Who is blind in this utter darkness?

The God dozing in His heavens,

Or the poor human who toils and crawl in this earth.

Who is blind now?


Shadows are groping in the gloominess

Of life’s path, without any intent or target.

Though the sun is gleaming in full ‘joie de vivre’,

It is darkness at noon for them.

It is midnight for them at mid noon.


Man is building castles in the air,

With many a desire in his heart.

In the realm of unyielding mirages,

A will-o’the-wisp of his imagination.

But when the magic wand of time and fate

Is brandished momentarily,

Like the twisting kaleidoscope moves

Everything in its turn,

We see the empty wilderness before us.

Only empty wilderness!

Agitating Love...

Do not love me this vigorously…

Do not love me this fervently…

My heart is searing and sweltering,

With the agonizing torridity of your love.

The luscious dreams in my eyes are

Smoldering and burning out.

I never coveted for this much love

That I cannot compromise or cherish

Inside my heart’s mother of pearl.

All that I wanted was the complacent warmth

Of a miniscule spark of love, to haul the burden

Of a lugubrious despondency that weighed upon me.

And cross the Empty Quarter of a desert of

Arduous affliction that threatened my existence.


I managed to reach the shore struggling with

The waves of grueling misery, with the helping

Heart touch of a loving hand stretched out towards me.


I could break the walls of a fortress of

The sweltering heat shield of the stifling summer,

With the chilling wetness of a moist kiss

Of your beguiling lips that lingered in mine.

I am surviving as a burning candle now,

Without perishing in the hell fire of my expectations,

Only with the fond memory I relish from the past,

Of a loving caress, of your soothing hand.


So do not drown me by immersing me

In the deluge of your savage love;

As I cannot withstand the sight of

A flayed heart by your lurid love …

Love Unsensored..

Those lines that were never written,

Those words swallowed unuttered

Were all for you, and about you.

The anxiety of the sodden sprout of grass

After the first rain, and the ecstasy

Of the first drop of rain, kissing the earth,

Are all inlaid in those words and unwritten lines.


Meandering like a winding river, downstream,

Through the lonesomeness of a solitary stork

Doing its penance earnestly on one leg,

In the far corner of a green velvety paddy field;

And through the resplendency of a king fisher’s wings;

Through the dreams of a jacaranda flower,

While I close on you, gliding softly in silence…



Greet me with a garland of blooms

From the rainbow; adorning your forehead

With a speck of vermilion, borrowed

From the evening sky, and a bewitching smile

On your lips that narrates untold heart throbs.

You will then listen to the cooing of my heart

In the dawn, while the morning mist covers the wood.

You can then fill up your scattered dreams

To the brim, with my love – Uncensored…

Farewell...

Oh! Death…

You will not die…

You went without hurrying at last

Into a long dark tunnel.

But you did not die...

There was a piece of lamb awaiting

For you in there…

I am your spirit.

It is time, since I have lost you in me.

You left like the withered petals of a rose,

Assembling back into its stem;

Like the rustle of leaves humming

In harmony with the breeze.

You are a twinge in my heart

Of a poem I could not write…


Each birth, glided slowly into this

Forbidden path, is a poem

Lost in oblivion eternally;

Yes, lost poems.....

What could your love, your candor,

Your smiles, your jests, your comradeship

Fill in my heart and eyes?

Are only two drops of tears!

SPLENDOURS OF LOVE

I smell the musk in the breeze and asked her,

If she has seen my beloved and caressed her cheeks,

While she was passing through.

The silver bells on her anklets tinkled in a melody,

While she ran, and I heard it in the distance.


The ripples chilled my heart with jubilation,

As she plunged into the blue waters, of the tiny river.

Did the tender trunk, of that small plant,

Leaning on my pulsating bosom, shiver?

Did the rosy lips, adorning the sign of my

Ardent love there, for a moment, quiver?

The stars blossomed in her stunning eyes;

Twilight blossomed on the cheeks, wet with coyness;

Nectar of the grapes dripped from the red soft lips; and

My name overflows abundantly in her honeyed words.

I can not delineate the delight in my heart

As I awaken in you, with all my sweet imagery.

It is not the five flowers, nor the radiance of

The gorgeous moon, which is desired;

But your adorable eyelids are Cupid’s dearest arrows….

Me...Who Is you...

Like the fragrance emanating

From the sodden earth after the first rain;

Like the never ending water bubbles

Overflowing from the spring of your love;

Like the flames of cold wintry blueness

Of a moon lit night in January…


I still remember those wee hours of the night

When you walked in….

Then I saw you in the darkness of the lonely

Nights, when the Night queen blossomed

And in the twilight

When the petals of the Pansies withered….

Then you flew away deep into the silvery clouds

In a long moan…

Was that the chaste love of a puny butterfly

Or…….?


Finally, leaving a cloud of suspicion in my mind

As to who you were…….

My mind after an interlude of a semi second,

Softly asked me again...

”Were you me?’…..or….myself?

WHICH TINT OF THE RAINBOW?.......

Which tint is of the rainbow!

Which note is of the sextet!

In your eyes,

In your lips,

What is the tone of

The music you hum?


I will adorn the treads you walk

With flowers… magnificent.

Open those steps for me to walk,

Dress up for me that night,

And keep yourself for me,

To take you near my soul

To make you the rhythm

of my heart.



All your lonely dreams

Were about me.

We longed for our

Dreams to blossom.

To make you the life

of my life

There is an immense

Desire in my soul….